Starburst Commercial

He's a little lad who loves berries and creeeeam!

A Suge Knight in Shining Armor saves Britney

A poor, unassuming gent was accosted by Britney Spears's would-be bodyguard, Suge Knight, outside an LA retaurant last week. Knight, the [ex?]CEO of Death Row Records believed he was defending Spears's honor to K-Fed himself. Unfortunately, it was a mere K-Fed look-alike. Knight explained to the cameramen capturing his every move: "She da underdog" while K-Fed is, simply put: "a lil' bitch!" See the video with thine own eye here.

I'm glad to hear that Knight is out and about protecting damels in distress. All is safe in the kingdom.

Free Lil Wayne concert tickets for AIDS victims

Now, don't go fraternizing with your friendly neighborhood tramp just yet. You can also NOT have AIDS and still get free tickets to a Lil Wayne and Baby concert (yaaaay!)if you live in Houston,Texas (aw, maaaan!). I know, I know: too many stipulations, right? Well kiddies, if you live in Houston, listen up. Texas state rep Borris Miles has put together a pretty sexy AIDS awareness party headlined by Weeze F and his Baby daddy (I mean: daddy, Baby). Here's the info pertaining to the bashment:

"As of next week, clinics across the city will begin offering free, 20 minute HIV exams to young people. While they wait for the results, they will watch a video on HIV awareness. If their results come back negative, they will be given their concert tickets. Should they test positive for the virus, they will still get their tickets, as well as counseling and referrals for medical attention. Rep. Miles says that the Houston area district that he represents has the highest AIDS rate in the state of Texas. The goal of Mile’s program is to test between 3000 and 6000 youths prior to the concert on June 30. In Houston and Harris County, blacks represent just 18% of the population, but account for 54% of all HIV infections since 1999."
[Source]

Good work. Now all the HIV positive kids can bone the HIV negative kids at the concert and subsequent after-parties. Brilliant. I'm not saying they should ban the AIDS kids from the fuck fest. But, I do remember a time when children were rewarded for getting A's, now they get rewarded for getting AIDS. It's just bizarre. So kudos on that um, AIDS awareness initiative. Or whateva.

The Anti-coke Reference

If I were to make a comment about Yungus Jocus and Jimmithon Jones the third at the Radio One concert in Miami this weekend and say that one of them is a coke head and the other is allergic to showerheads, I'm sure you'd be able to decipher which strapping young lad I'd be referencing with each comment. But I won't take the route my fellow bloggers have taken and come up with some cute quip with which to shit on these lovely laddies. In fact, I think both fuck boys look fabulous. Healthy and fabulous!


[Source]

Look at Joc's guns. Who needs the gym when you can have a portable gym neatly packaged in a little plastic bag? A lil sniff of that good ole white girl stuff ("Christina Aguilera" as some call it) is usually a great way to get in shape fast. And Mr. Jones? Look at those cut abs. Look at the way 16 days worth of grime has nestled itself betwixt the crevices of his abdominal muscles. You can't buy that kind of visible funk in any of NYC's fancy stores. That's pure, Harlem-grown body filth and I for one like a musky gentleman without third-party intrusion; sans-perfume, cologne, body wash, body bar, wet wipe, et cetera, et cetera. Real, unadulterated sex appeal. Right there.

Diddy reunites with Lil Kim's "bounce"

Diddy recently debuted his "Last Night" Remix featuring Lil Kim and Busta Rhymes. He spoke fondly of his reunion with Kim saying:

"We got everything on point [with our friendship] right before she went to jail. When she got out, I was right on the phone with her and we were talking about doing something. We got history together, and it was only right that the first song she's done since she's been out was a joint I produced. She's on a big hit record. She's sounding good and strong. I'm a witness. I was in the studio with her. She ain't miss a beat. She wasn't rusty or nothing. She stepped it up and was even doing some singing too. Her bounce is classic and it's necessary. She definitely is the queen of the game." [Source]

What exactly is Kim's "bounce" and why is it classic AND necessary? Whatever it is, it sounds like something she should parle into a new fragrance campaign: "Bounce by Queen B". Actually, that sounds like it would smell funky...like the sweat spot betwixt her sili-cones.

In any case, Kim sounds eh on the remix. Listen to her "bounce" all over Diddy's track here. Oh, and be sure to get your underpants ready for the onslaught of rehashed versions of this whacktastic trash (pardon the semi rhymage). One of the remixi includes bonafide sex gods Game, Yung Joc, Rich Boy and Big Boi. Yummy! I just soiled my new knickers.

Diddy unable to preserve his sexy abroad

While in London this weekend, Diddy was photographed leaving Paper nightclub, clearly having forgotten his Proactiv repairing lotion in the states. It would appear Diddy (aka Dean Diddy Dombs) was forced to smear the remaining contents of a tub of Vaseline on his face instead of utilizing his beloved Proactiv. Apparently Dean Diddy then felt compelled to throw on the most potato-sack inspired jacket in his closet and later took on the arduous task of shaping himself a ridiculously thin goatee to complete his down-low preacher/sketchy uncle look.





Never one to meet a flashing bulb he didn't like, Diddy cheesed big for the cameras after one of the paparazzo promised to reward him with a damp rag and some shine-control pressed powder.